Gute Essen

It's imPASTABOWL

Sunday, April 27, 2008 | 1 comment »

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Girls? You think I'm sexy? You want to do me? Everyone loves a chubby dude!

T-Minus eight days until I turn 30.

I'll let that sink in a little.

But mostly for me.

Thirty.

Just like a bad ABC sitcom.

Alas on the upside:
1. Julie is still older than me.
2. Her mom and dad got me the pasta attachment for my kitchenaide

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Now that I told you a little about myself, let me tell you about my dance. It's real easy to do y'all, so check it out.

So when life hands you lemons, sometimes, you just say "fuck off" and throw the lemons back. Or you make pasta. Either/or. Although, honestly, if I had lemons I'd most likely make hummus. Or maybe some limoncello. Possibly some lemon curd. But most likely not lemonade. I mean it's just so droll.

The last time I made pasta it was our anniversary and I didn't have pasta roller or cutter. It was a real pain in the ass. I have to say though that this wasn't all that much less, it was much less physically exhausting. I followed Mark Bittman's egg-less pasta dough recipe. It was a good, but it was missing that tooth-i-ness that the egg lends to fresh pasta. I would make it again since it felt a little lighter, but it most definitely needed less water. The dough was very sticky when it came out of the food processor.

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If I had one wish in my life it would be to swim in an olympic-sized swimming pool of this. I mean, sure, Fellini probably did that already, but whatever. I'd make it sexy.

Oh, I also made some meatballs. But out of turkey. You know. That whole cholesterol thing. And we had beef last night. But they were still awesome. I also made bread. I've made bread every Sunday for a month now. We haven't bought bread in a month. And I feel really good about that too, but that's another post for another day.

Eggless Pasta

Yes, this was stolen from Mark Bittman, but whatever. Don't be a dick.

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup hot water
  • 2 tbls olive oil

  1. Put the flour and salt in the work bowl of your food processor and turn it on. Talk to it all sweet-like. You know.
  2. While it's on pour in the oil and followed by the hot water. This should bring the dough to a rough all. If not, well, you're fucking retarded. Oh wait. No. I'm sorry that was mean. If that doesn't make a rough dough add just a few more drops of hot water at a time until that happens.
  3. Turn it out on a lightly floured ball and knead until it's smooth, elastic and not really sticky.
  4. Take your pasta machine and put it through it's paces. What? You don't have a pasta machine? Sounds like you need some new fucking in-laws, asshole.

Turkey Meatballs

  • 1.5 lbs of ground turkey
  • 1 medium onion, finely diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced
  • 4 tbls chopped oregano
  • 1/2 cup chopped parsely
  • 2 tbls chopped thyme
  • 1/2 cup tore-up bread (nice crusty Italian load) soaked in whole milk
  • salt, pepper and crushed red pepper to taste

  1. Let the bread soak for a good 15 minutes first
  2. Put the rest of the ingredients in a bowl then squeeze the excess milk out of the bread and tear into smaller pieces
  3. Mix together and refrigerate for 30 minutes
  4. Form meatballs (I used a scoop) and then brown them in some olive oil in a frying pan
  5. Put in the red sauce and tuck in a 200°F oven for two or so hours. At least until the turkey is cooked.

Red Sauce

  • 2 cans san marzano tomatoes, drained, chopped and the liquid set aside
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
  • 4 sprigs thyme
  • 4 sprigs oregano
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 2 tbls tomato paste
  • salt, pepper and crushed red pepper

  1. Heat up some olive oil until it shimmers then lower heat and add the onions with a pinch of salt.
  2. You want to let these things cook down and sweat under low heat for a good 20 minutes.
  3. Add the garlic and let cook for two minutes, then find a clear space and put in the tomato pasta.
  4. Add the reserved liquid, pepper, crushed red pepper, thyme and oregano and raise the heat.
  5. Bring to a boil and add the chopped tomatoes and bay leaves.
  6. Add meatballs and cook in the oven until it's awesome.

categories: tomato sauce pasta meatballs

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