Technically I guess what these ingredients will make is a sorbet or an "ice". What the fuck is an "ice"? This is ice cream baby.

At the onset of last summer I decided it would be a good idea to buy an ice cream maker. I was probably drunk, at home and wanted ice cream. I don't think the rational part of my brain was necessarily working since, well, I'd a) have to wait for it to be delivered and then b) actually make it. Luckily my brilliant powers of deduction were working again shortly and was I sated with a quick trip to the bodega.

But now I was stuck with an ice cream maker so I figured I'd better try to figure out how to use it., To give you the gods honest truth I'm not totally stoked on real ice cream as a frequent food item; it's a little too rich and fatty for me. But sorbets? Sure, why not. Sadly that summer merely ended in ice-y bland tragedy. This time I did a little more research (thank you Cooks Illustrated) and found out there were a few things I needed to do.

1. More sugar in the form of a sugar syrup
2. More freezer time for the bowl
3. More fridge time for the base
4. More churning time
5. A good shot of booze

Now that I had these settled I started with making a nectarine sorbet with fresh nectarines. I pureed them in the food processor and added a cup of simple syrup (2 parts sugar, 1 part water heated to dissolve) the juice of two limes and about 3 tbls of vodka. I then let the mix chill down to 38 degrees in the fridge, set up the machine and started a-churning. After about 25 minutes it looked "right" and I set on packing it into a container and freezing it. It was good, but the texture was still a little too loose and ice-y for me — it didn't have that smooth mouth-feel I was looking for.

My next attempt (as pictured above) was buttermilk ice cream. I figured that the fat content (albeit as low as it is) in the buttermilk would assist in ice crystal retardation. So in together went the left over simple syrup (I had make 2 cups of sugar/1 cup water which yields just under 2 cups), the zest of one lemon, juice of two, and 2 cups of buttermilk. Again I let this sit in the fridge until well chilled and set about ice creaming. After about 30 minutes this time, the mix had a very thick and rich appearance in the machine so I said "eureka!" and set about firming it up.

This is so tangy that NASA wanted to put it on the shuttle.

This time was much better, but still not perfect. After doing a little looking around I found a recipe for roasted banana ice cream using whole milk. "Ah-ha," I said to myself, this cannot fail! The fat from the milk (a hefty 8% compared to the buttermilk's 1.5%) and the emulsifying agents in the bananas will surely render this supreme! So I roasted 3 bananas, cut roughly with about 2 2/3 ounces of white sugar until it was mushy, golden brown and caramel-y. I then added this to the food processor along with 1 1/2 cups of milk, the juice of a lemon, a heavy shot of dark rum (3 tbls or so) and a pinch of kosher salt and blended it smooth. This cooled down and then went into the ice cream machine. But instead of using time as the key to when it was done, I figured I'd let the machine tell me.

About 40 minutes into churning the motor sounds changed and the machine groaned a little. This time the mix was very heavy and glossy looking and actually tasted like that oh-so-hard-to-make holy grail of "soft-serve" consistence. I packed it up and about 3 hours later it was exactly what I was looking for: smooth, glossy, and delicious.